Freak Power Party Platform

Ok here it is, all ready for the midterm elections. The Freak Power Party Platform

First Priority-- The First Green Bullet. This should have been a no-brainier. Figure out how the Brazilians became energy independent by switching to switch grass to fuel their economy. No need for science-fiction technologies, just steal whatever they did and make it happen. Its Brazil for Christ sake, if they can do it, surely we can.

a) Subsidize the first batch of switch grass seeds, then eliminate existing farm subsidies. Growing switch grass could make Nebraska the new Saudi Arabia in terms of energy wealth. Ending American farm subsidies would also help developing countries become more agriculturally competetive and sustainable, ultimately helping the global economy. Doing this would also give credibility to the WTO, which is a good thing. Furthermore, after the enterprise is up and running, limit the size and control of each farm growing switch grass. This will help to reverse the trend towards corporate farming, and the resurgence of the American farmer in the Jeffersonian sense. This would also lead to a reemergence in the economically depressed South and Midwest.

b) Obviously this would get us out of the failed attempt to dominate the Middle East and steal their oil. If we don't need the oil, let them sort themselves out, if they want a new Caliphate, fine, whatever. Bin Ladin can claim victory for kicking out the infidels, but who gives a shit, when they need drinking water they'll be the ones paying $100 a barrel, for sweet Toyama crude water. As for Israel, they are a long past grown up. They can defend themselves, and we'll sell them whatever they need to do it.

c) Switching to a switch grass based economy would bring lowered greenhouse emissions means that the worst scenarios of global warming might not come to fruition. Duh.

d) Eliminating our dependency on oil will directly and immediately end the war in Iraq, and the war on terror. They can solve their Sunni/Shiite thing on their own. We obviously have no idea what is going on there, so we should get out. We can invest the billions of dollars into education and advanced research.

Second Priority Second Green Bullet. Legalize soft drugs. Make every aspect of producing pot legal.

a) Pot is already California's cash cow. Make it legal and you can tax the shit out of it, and sell and control it like alcohol. Make it a law that you gotta be 18 or 21 or whatever. Anybody over the age of 13 knows its way easier to get a sack of weed then a bottle of whiskey, so you'll more likely have less smokers under age.

b) As studies on the Dutch system have shown, the number of smokers changes little with the legalization of cannabis. Square fears of a completely stoned nation will be proven false.

c) The amount of money spent on demonizing soft drugs and incarcerating small time users is outrageous. Less bogus crimes, less prisons, less prisoners, healthier families and a better society and . As law enforcement agencies across the country have said repeatedly, they don't have the time or resources to go around chasing pot dealers.

d) If you follow the rise of crack cocaine in the 1980s it occurs at the same time as the peak of Operation Eradication attempt to shut down the large scale pot plantations in Northern California. No access to cheap pot = cheap crack.

e) Half of the money saved can go towards raising teacher salaries, and half can go to...nah screw it. Send it all to teacher salaries.

f) Combined with growing switch grass, farmers will be millionaires.

g) Like becoming energy dependant, the US will no longer be as dependent for drugs from places like Columbia, Mexico, and other South American countries. We can end our incredibly destructive drug war in Columbia, and drastically lessen the flow of drug money into the Mexican gangs and hardened criminals.

Third Priority Maximum Wage Tax. 100% taxation for all incomes over US$1 million. Seriously, who really needs to make over a million dollars a year? Outrageous incomes created the wealth gap in America, which gave rise to all manner of problems mostly for the poor. With the billions, maybe even trillions in revenue, we invest in alternative energy, port and border security, and a universal health program. At the same time make the minimum wage a living wage for employers with over 100 employees. Stable societies are based on the middle class, vast differences in wealth create resentment. If the rich get pissed at this, who cares, they've had enough time in power and they've abused it. Close tax shelter loopholes and bring back the death tax. Eliminate corporate welfare, and make them pay taxes like the rest of us.


Fourth Priority Superfund the Superfund. With these measures in place the government coffers will be pretty full. Next thing we do is give the environmentalists a giant boner and clean up the country before its too late. We as a country need to listen more closely to our tree huggers and nerds, and give them lots of money to do it. You polute, you pay. Simple as that. Also we should look into sponsoring Carbon sequencing to convert the carbon in the atmosphere into a solid state. Its expensive now, but it might save all our asses in the future.

Fifth Priority Cheney goes to jail. Real jail. in Guantanamo. Torture the shit out of him. If anybody deserves it its him.

Sixth Priority. Singaporize the borders. Even though I sincerely believe that the policies above will lessen our need to protect our borders, we should still inspecting everything that comes in and out of our ports and accross our border. How hard could it be to build a big ass fence. If we're out of Iraq, and Latin America, the army is going to be bored as hell. Make them protect build it. Make the Department of Defense the Department of Da Fence.

Welp thats a good start. Now who's with me?