Revisionist Living

A piece of paper came across my desk.. It had my name on it and a bunch of empty boxes. Ok. Just ask the Oracle (Kaneko-sensei) what to do.

“Kaneko-sensei, what am I supposed to do with this?’”
“Write about what you did during spring break. It’s for the PTA newsletter.”
“…in Japanese?”
“…of course, do you need help?”
“nah.. I can do it.”

Unwilling to rub in the fact that I did a fantastic tour down to Kyushu and partied my brains out with wine glasses full of tequila for a week while the rest of the teachers dragged ass a work, I wrote the following in hiragana and really easy kanji.

“During spring break I saw the 14th day of the Sumo tournament in Osaka. I saw many famous sumo. I enjoyed it.”

Naturally and patronizingly, everyone that saw me write these pitiful sentences hemmed and hawed over how good my Japanese was and how willing they were for me to marry into their families. Hurdle cleared. I was ready for my ticker tape parade though the streets of Kamiichi. Surely I’d be carried in a royal cart by the strongest men in town with only my arm hanging out of the luxurious curtains, like the rich guy in, “The Laorax”, actually more like Aladdin. Yeah just like Aladdin…with elephants and the whole troupe of…

The eacher in charge of PTA newsletter politely interrupted my Sunshine daydream: “Sumimasen, Max-san. Write Kimiichi town Yasumi please.” Please write about what you did in Kamiichi during break.

As the words, “but” threatened to escape, I kept my face (a Thai skill) and erased my previous entry and rewrote,

“Because there was no snow, I rode my bike in Kamiichi town and ate ramen and fish. I enjoyed it.”

Which is just stupid.
…

Revisionism is truly a hallmark of Japanese culture. The reality must fit in with the myth. I’m reading a book about wartime Emperor Hirohito, and it’s full of these examples. If he fucked up and (sort of accidentally) invaded Manchuria it was due to the ‘poisonous advise of his advisors’.

As the author shows, Hirohito was basically in near total control of every that happened in the lead up to the war and the invasion of Continental Asia, but was able to effectively whitewash the reality to avoid embarrassing the throne. Hirohito wore pure white silk (symbolic of purity in Shinto) when he “confessed” his role in the pre-war planning.

My guess is that he wasn’t really riding his bike around Kamiichi eating ramen and fish when the bombs started falling.