Off The Road

“This is real interesting stuff, I really like your work...uh…hhmmm….”
“But…?”
“…like I said this is great, but you’re just not Lonely Planet material. Thank you for your time.”
“How do Souls taste?”

So it’s obvious I’m no good at travel writing. Jack’s ‘On the Road’ was kind of boring too I’ll have you remember. I mean, what kind of comments can you really make to a travel blog (sounds like fun) anyway? I still want to bring out to you the feel of the trip. I’m in a bind here. You are bored. Emily actually told me that she’s no longer going to read my blog. Ouch. I’m a teacher, I know every variety of bored from the palm-to-chin fromp to the Hasidic head fade. Whenever my student’s feathery Japanese eyes start to turndown their lights down low anda pull down dey window curtains, I just yell: “Let’s PLAY A GAME” and they perk up ready for action.

so I want to play a game with you that we played extensively on our trip


From the people that brought you the Asian, White, or Jewish Venn Diagram its:

Is Falconry Sexy?

Materials: computer, Internet, imagination.
Number of Participants: any
English skills needed: typing, nouns, gerunds, and infinitives
Purpose: get people laid
Rules: we all know this game. It’s a Cosmo, Playboy standard: Is something sexy, not sexy?

Not sexy

Falconry,
Watching someone eat okonoiyaki,
Mustaches (on women),
A pouch of fat that actually goes over and droops from the belt,
Origami obsession (a guy who shows you his crane collection won't be getting any.....unless he is a super hot nihon boy),
Playing chess with old people (could be sexy if you said it right)
Saying "didju know that....." -

Sexy

Lighting a girls cigarette in the right way - not sleazy,
Playing any musical instrument,
Motorbikes,
Yoga,
Reading on a park bench,
Speaking foreign languages,
A woman pouring something correctly