Visalia California

Ok so I feel like I’ve successfully mapped out the drifter career ranks. Done and done. Pathetically I actually feel a sense of accomplishment for finally writing something down that (a few) people read. Anyways back patting over, lets get started.

Place: Visalia, California

Visalia is in the middle of Fresno and Bakersfield smack dab in the irrigated desert that is the Central San Joaquin Valley. Not exactly a cultural hotspot. God only knows why my parents moved there from San Francisco, but they did, and it was home for a long time. People have this image of California as a state sized Malibu with Hippies running around hawking free love. Hate to burst your bubble but most of it isn’t like that. Anyways Visalia is an agricultural first town, population about 100,000. Whites own pretty much everything, Mexicans do the work. Like many depressed rural counties claims to be the birthplace of the meth epidemic, and have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the county. I've also heard that it's got the worst air quality in the country. I don’t know if any of this stuff is true, but they very well could be.

Ok here we go;

Level of Bad-ass-itude
Pretty low, the coolest kids in town are in High School or at the Junior college, and most young people get out as soon as they can. In my opinion it’s better than growing up in the spoiled suburbs (sorry Greg and Glen), or way out in the middle of nowhere, like Taft or something.

Toys
A boat that you go to Shaver lake with that sits in your driveway with a blue tarp over it. Large TV to watch drivel for at least 4 hours a night. You’ve also got an Awesome BBQ, and maybe a pool.

Clothes
From Ross Marshals, Target, or outlet stores. Everyone wears name brands, but it’s slightly flawed and nobody’s paying full price. If you Mexican you wear white shirts with a Gothic Virgin Mary, corduroy shoes, and one hell of an attitude.

Car
Your Truck is immaculate. Most of your salary goes into truck payments or accessories; the rest goes to child support.

Chicks
White if your white, brown if your brown. Also you’re married at 20. Either that or you’ve had your fill of the fabled land beyond the fields and came back to settle down, like in Gross Point Blank.

Strip Malls?
Yeah, but…. Yeah we got strip malls, Wal-Mart, the whole bit.

Intellectual culture
The brain scene in Visalia is weird due to its isolation. There are defiantly coffee shops clans of slim shouldered men and brown lipstick women discussing the issues of our day, but the topics are pretty different than those elsewhere. Intellectual discussion usually stays near the realm of theology.

Bar Scene
Odd to say the least. Depending on your class your either sipping boutique brewed amber ales and vintage wine, you’re getting in a fight with cowboys at a party in a field, or you’re avoiding the stray bullets in the club.

Worries
You’re brain rotting from lack of stimulation, the heat driving you insane. Being killed in the blanket of fog. Eventually getting out of you’re mom’s house.
Vacation time On holidays you head to either Pismo Beach or the mountains. Odds are you’re not leaving Central California let alone the state or the country.

Drug
Mostly Jesus, but the rest try to get their hands on whatever they can get. Lottas people rock good weed, poor kids smoke meth (I’m not kidding here folks).

Politics
The masses surely subscribe to water rights based Rightwing Christian crazytalk, but the educated middle class listens to NPR like it’s some underground subversive thing. You can't even tune in the lefty stations from Berkeley. The moveon.org action committee meets at Borders.

Religions
Supposedly there are more churches per-capita than in any other place in the country, again I can’t prove or deny this, but most of the churches are evangelical Christian churches puttin’ out the “If you don’t believe Jesus as your Lord and Savior you’re going to hell” line. Those who reject this line are reactionary atheists or agnostics and have few friends, or are part of the doctors lawyers and Indian chiefs group.

Weather
Hot and dry as hell in the summer, (lots of people have pools), and frighteningly foggy in the winter.

Dialect
Standard American English, Standard Mexican Spainish, Spaingilsh. The hicks speak the same drawl from Barstow to Biloxi.

Interesting Aside
Horribly poluted and dusty air makes a great sunset.