Isla Vista, California

Isla Vista, CA


At 17 I was pretty ready to get out of the big V and my parents were too. Whenever I put the cheese back in the fridge I rarely wrapped it back up. Even though there was a sign on the cheese shelf that said, "If you love cheese wrap it up". Parents can only tolerate that sort of behavior for so long. I shipped out to the University of California Santa Barbara, and eventually to land smack dab in the beer foam lifestyle of Isla Vista CA.



Isla Vista is physically and economically distant from the posh pony club world of Santa Barbara. But its about a one square mile of mostly self governing university students and poor Mexicans located right on one of the most beautiful stretches of the Pacific Ocean.



Level of Bad-ass-itude
Blisteringly high. IV has the hottest people Ive ever seen, loads of intellectual havens, a stunning beach. The school is almost always in the top 5 for best party school, and the University has had 4 Nobel laureates in the last 10 years.

Toys
A sweet stolen beach cruiser that you ride to Sands with carrying a surfboard, a bong, skateboards, a collection frisbe golf discs, a couch on the roof, the boys at the JD house had a stripper poll and mirror getup that was used surprisingly often.

Clothes
Minimal and Optional. Lots of Halloween costume parts that somehow made it into the rotation. Vegen kids with blue hoodies, stuck up sorority girls with loads of make up on wearing gray sweatpants to look like they just got readyand dont have herpes.

Car
Cars arent really important but theyre usually small and Japanese hand me downs. The interior is full of sand, and In and Out Burger wrappers and socks from the last long road trip home.

Chicks
Span the spectrum from total nerds to total skanks. God bless IV.

Strip Malls?
Impossible. In the 70s the students burnt down the Bank of America building. Picasso road was about the closest thing to a strip mall, but all its mostly independent coffee shops that only sold beer and never made any money, cause everyone that went there got hooked up.

Intellectual culture
Monday-Friday there is a world-class university next door, but youd never know it on the weekends. The most intellectual discussions take place within a haze of drugs and are quickly forgotten.

Bar Scene
Because nearly everyone is under 21, the bar scene is kinda unnecessary, on an average night there are incredibly wild parties in just about every house with IV foot patrol making sure that everyone is nice and drunk, but carrying a cup upside down. Long live DP, may the ocean never reclaim you.

Worries
Sunburns, brain damage, STDs, finals, long keg lines, kidney infections, constantly living in fear because your ex lives less than a block away from you, June glooms, lack of summer swells, narcotics officers, beer money, mom visiting, security deposits.

Vacation time
Youre on vacation most of the time. Life is hopefully balanced between academic pursuits and chemical addictions. You go on as many trips as trips.

Drug
Besides year around sunshine, IV is full of smart people drugs like, beer, pot, and shrooms. Rich kids do coke. But pretty much everyones on something, so you have to drive about 5 miles an hours because everyone is so spaced out. Because everyone is in party mode, drugs seem to be the most common way to meet new people and find new tribes. With in the pot scene manners and politeness are as important as a job interview. Lastly, April 20th is as hallucinogenic a day as possible. Val and Melissas crew just about killed me, I think I stil sso tired.

Politics
The university next door sponsors the liberal line pretty hard and everyone is cool with it because its tough to get the people united for justice on the beach. Unlike UC Berkeley everyone has a token College Republican friend thats cool enough to talk to at parties, especially because he brought the beerfrom the brewery his dad owns.

Religion
Sons and daughters of suburban secretarian liberals. Nobody has been to church in a while. Except the annoying Christian Crusade/Athletes who just bug the hell outta everyone. Repenting for sins usually takes place on Sunday morning hugging porcelain, or in the STD clinic.

Weather
Always perfect, no exceptions.

Side Note
Once you leave, you can never go back, someones already taken your place.